That Crucial First Date

As we know, first impressions count for a lot so what should you wear on that first date?

Dress for the occasion but if you're going out for spaghetti in an Italian restaurant and you always manage to spill sauce on your top, don't wear white!

* Only reveal one small part of yourself. Choose either to show legs or cleavage, or go for backless but not more than one of the three.

* Sheer-look makeup is much more flattering on older skin than wearing both foundation and powder. Forget the old-fashioned methods of testing make-up colours on your wrist. Try some of the make-up counters you've never visited before and ask them to try one or more of their sheer bases on your skin. Then go outside and look at it in the daylight. It's no good trying to make a judgement under shop lights. Instead of trying to 'infill' the crow's feet around your eyes with foundation or powder, avoid the whole eye area.

* Blusher can be very ageing. Avoid anything orange or bronze. Any orange or bronze blusher applied as a hard line down the side of the face looks false. Go for the more modern way of applying pale pink blusher on the apples of your cheeks. Avoid harsh colours on eye-shadow, as well as sparkle, glitter or anything else that says iridescent on the label.

* Avoid harsh colours on eye-shadow, as well as sparkle, glitter or anything that says iridescent on the label. Such colours only serve to accentuate wrinkles and saggy eyelids. Neutral beiges and browns applied lightly are much more flattering.

* The easiest of all to update is lip colour. Forget about strong blocks or colour. They are passé. Go for lip-glosses - the ones you can buy that look like a pencil - and go for colours like caramel, toffee or subtle pink. Gloss really flags up an older face and look sheerer, modern and far prettier.

The biggest mistakes older women can make on a first date are:

* Wearing see-through clothes
* Wearing a revealing little black dress
* Wearing leopard skin
* Wearing red

People assume that black suits everyone but it doesn't. Think about wearing black on the lower half of your body, particularly if you are conscious about your hips and stomach. Disguise the bottom half with dark trousers or a dark shirt, and only worry about adding colour on top.

Leopard skin prints make middle-aged women look like barmaids. Black tends to look tarty and hard, and red is a bad idea because men subconsciously read red as, 'I'm up for sex tonight.' This includes bright red lipstick and red nail varnish. The 'big age' thing where nails are concerned is that forty-plus ladies often have long nails. The more modern style is to have them shorter and filed to a square and French manicured.

Hair

It's not called your crowning glory for nothing. Well-cared for hair can enhance your looks. Neglect your mop and you will look 'unfinished,' no matter how much attention you have paid to the rest of you.

* If you can, splash out on at least on really good, expensiive haircut at the best hairdresser in the area. Look on it as an investment. Once hair has been cut into shape, it's much easier for a less experience stylist to copy the cut and colour.

* Avoid covering grey hair with a single colour. Two colour tones are far more natural.

* Avoid hair spray at all costs. Older women tend to use it far too much, yet hair that looks as though it can move is much sexier than static hair.

* Hairdressers will always advise you to stay within two colour tones of your natural hair. Go for tortoiseshell highlights in two or three shades rather than a block of solid colour. Don't go for reddy plum or mahogany tones. They are far too hard. If they're the colours you love and you don't want to abandon them, break them up with highlights.

Feet

OK. You may think no one is going to stare at your feet when you're out meeting, or hoping to meet, the perfect companion. But strangely enough, they often do! Seeing a beautifully dressed and carefully polished woman wearing oprn-toes sandals and sporting yellow thickened toenails can be distinctly off-putting. If you're going open-toed, with or without tights, invest in a pedicure or at the very least, do paint your nails.

Scented Or Smelly

According to Jay Hunt most women of all ages have no idea how strong their scent really is. 'A woman will generally shower or bathe before they g out, using a shower gel or scnted soap. She may then apply moisturiser with a different scent, rub her hands with handcream which has another bouquet and then spray herself with a scented eau-de-toilette of perfume. The combined aromas could knock a man back sideways as he walks through the door.

Glasses

Unfortunately, when it comes to ageing, you can hide wrinkles, disguise hair coloour, buy clothes to flatter your shape, and paint your nails. The one thing both men and women may have to concede as Father Time marches relentlessly forward is the need to wear reading glasses to see the menu. So there you are, sitting at the table with your date. The waiter hands you the menu. I remember my late mother regaling me with the old saying that 'men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.'

If that was your mother's message, then remember it's come from a world gone-by. Imagine you've left your specs on the hall table at home and can't see a single word on the menu at the posh restaurant your lovely date has suggested. "I'll have what you're having, you say, to dodge the need to confess that you can't read the menu. "It sounds good." And when the boiled beef and mashed potatoes - billed as a classy French dish - appears, you choke on every mouthful, curse vanity, and first dates, in that order. Sound familiar?

According to Hunt, what most people don't realise is that the glasses the so despise can become a flirting tool. You can put your glasses on to study the menu, take them off in a sexy manner to emphasise your point as you look straight into his eyes, you can twiddle them in your fingers as you listen to his riveting conversation, o5 place them beside your plate. Even those who don't need them might consider them an asset.

Unisex Musts

Make sure your fingernails are clean and well-shaped or manicured, Professional silk-wraps to acrylic can work miracles on very short or bitten nails - even for men. There's nothing 'cissy' about having a professional manicure.

Ensure you shoes are spotless and well-brushed or shiny, depending, of course on the material.

Watch your moth, literally. There's nothing wrong with uneven teeth but they have to absolutely clean, so if you're planning to start dating again, a visit to the dentist for a scale and polish might be well worth effort.

Men Need Style Too

According to Jay Hunt, middle-aged men are every bit as vulnerable and in need of a helping hand in the style department as women. "The biggest mistake middle-aged men tend to make when they start dating again is they tend to overdress. They think they need to be seen to be making an effort, turn up in a tucked in shirt and tie, a double breasted pin-stripe suit for a first date in a pub and think they look like matinee dolls.

In fact, their formal appearance makes them look staid and dated. What they need to do is relax. They can wear a traditional cut suit if it makes them feel comfortable, but generally I advise that they try a heavy linen or cotton rather than a conventional wool or worsted suit and buy a shirt that's cut stight at the bottom so they can leave it hanging out. A shirt with a U-shape at the bottom does need to be tucked in.

Leave the neck open; forget the tie if you've arranged to meet in a wine bar, there's nothing wrong with going along in jeans. Dark denim jeans look smart, and you can't compare them with the Michael Winner/Jeremy Clarkson style faded, bleached look. Dark denim looks great on mature men, especially teamed with a cotton or linen shirt.

Go for what are called 'relax-fit jeans' or wider fit jeans if you are little bit wider than you used to be or suffer from a bit of a beer belly. That will balance out your shape - but don't even think of going for the seventies flare look. Look at the length at which younger men wear their trousers; they are an inch or two longer than older gentlemen are used to wearing them. Don't be tempted to tuck a shirt into jeans and finish off with a belt.

Men need style tips as much as ladies do. They may not choose to believe it, but as every woman knows, men who try to disguise their age by using 'tricks' such as toupees to hide balding pates or hair-dyes which don't match the colour of their beards can actually add decades tot heir appearance.

Male Dress Tips

*It's more flattering to get your hair cut very short than to try dressing it bouffant style or comb over style. Bruce Willis has gone for the very short look and he look great. If you're really bothered by a shortage of hair, why not go for the shaved head look.

*Logos on ties, jockey cuff-links and cartoon character sock as are all no-no's. They do not show a good sense of humour.

*Women tend not to like men in jewellery. On a first date, at least leave the gold chains off!

*Don't be tempted to use too much aftershave. Women don't like it. If you've had a shower and used a good shower gel, that clean, fresh smell is much more appealing.

*If you've got a beard, lose it. A lot of men have had a beard for years and use it as a security blanket. If it hurts to go bare, go for the heavy stubble look which is much more modern, especially when you are going grey. Salt-and-pepper beards are very unappealing.

Jay Hunt offers one other piece of essential advice to men who were brought up in era when courtesy towards a woman included presenting her with chocolates and flowers; "Many men take flowers and chocolates on a first date to make themselves appear romantic. It may feel like a chivalrous act, but DON'T! If first impressions appeal, send flowers afterwards as a 'thankyou' and tell her how much you'd love to see her again.

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